AcciOWWW!
by Kiana Unei
Summary: Harry and Ron fight Draco in an empty classroom by use of a charm that can summon anybody . . .


AcciOWWW  
  
This is the story of the discovery of the Accio spell's cousin, and a midnight duel in a deserted classroom between Harry and Ron vs. Draco- and everyone they summon with this spell. Takes place during fourth year- before champions are announced. PLEASE READ the Harry Potter series- 1 through 4- before reading this. Contains definite plot spoilers!  
  
NOTE: I've probably made a few mistakes whilst writing this- such as Harry and Ron didn't master the 'Accio' charm until later- but ignore those. This is not supposed to be a serious work.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters, places, accessories, and the 'Accio' and 'Repairo' spells belong to J.K. Rowling. The 'Acciow' spell belongs to me, though I don't legally have any rights over it. Use it if you wish, I don't mind. The sumo wrestler belongs to 'These Messages'. "Grmuffis" belongs to Mr. Draco Malfoy.  
  
"This . . . is . . . most definitely not good."  
  
Looking around at the desaster before them, Harry Potter had little choice but to agree.  
  
"Harry?" Ron asked, as he bent to examine the recked remains of the deserted classroom's door, "remind me to never, ever, try to summon 'a person who has even less of his homework done than me'."  
  
Harry's friend had preformed the summoning charm as a joke, knowing full well that you had to a) name the object you were summoning, b) know exactly where it was, and c) did it even work on people? Yet it had worked- even if Ron had said, "AcciOWWW!!" instead of "Accio", due to his tripping over a bent nail protruding from the floor.  
  
"Grmuffis," Draco Malfoy said, either still asleep, or else knocked unconscious from his crashing through the wooden door.  
  
"Uh, y'think we should, you know, wake him up?" Harry asked, examining the pale boy from a safe distance.  
  
"What, and have him blast us to pieces? Let's just get out of here- no one will be able to prove anything."  
  
"Oh, all right," Harry said, seeing the great wisdom in this choice of action. "Repairo." The busted door flew back together.  
  
The two started for the door, then froze instantly as Malfoy sat up, awake. "What the bloody h- "  
  
He ended the sentence abruptly as he laid eyes on the pair of Gryffindors.  
  
"Er, hello," Ron said jovially, trying to look casual, and succeeding about as much as Dudley on a nature hike. "Nice day, isn't it? Well- night, actually."  
  
Malfoy stared for a moment, then his eyes narrowed. "What did you do now, Potty? Or was it you, Weasel? What am I doing here?! When my father finds out-!"  
  
"Oh, shut up," Harry snapped. "Go back to bed. We certainly didn't want you here."  
  
"Right, Ferret-Boy," Ron added, scowling, "I didn't know 'AcciOWWW' was a spell."  
  
" 'Acciow'?" Malfoy looked interested. Irritated, but interested nonetheless. " 'Acciow'. Heh. Acciow Crabbe and Goyle." The Slytherin had said this last bit sarcastically, and thus it came as a great surprise to him when his henchmen came crashing through the wooden door with an earsplitting CRACK.  
  
" . . .Ow." Crabbe grunted.  
  
"What the . . ." Malfoy turned and leered at his nemisi. Harry and Ron glanced at eachother.  
  
"Acciow father!"  
  
"Acciow Moody!"  
  
"Acciow Hermione!"  
  
Harry gave his friend a strange look. " 'Acciow Hermione'?" Ron grinned stupidly. Hermione, Mad-Eye Moody, and 'father' continued to snore.  
  
"Acciow Proffesser Snape!" Malfoy cried, determined to somehow harm Ron and Harry.  
  
Snape blinked around sleepily, dazed, until-  
  
"Acciow Sumo Wrestler!"  
  
-a large, many tonne man was suddenly sitting on him.  
  
"What the. . ?" Hagrid had come into the room, attracted by the odd sounds. After sizing up the situation, the Hogwarts Game Keeper turned to Harry. "Ya think y' could bring back Norbert?"  
  
"Acciow Norbert," Harry mumbled half-heartedly, not at all pleased at the prospect of having a fully-grown dragon anywhere near him. Hagrid threw his arms around his long lost 'pet'.  
  
Still determined to bring an end to Potter, Malfoy yelled, "Acciow Sirius Black!" Harry's godfather stumbled to his feet, glancing at his surroundings in bewilderment.  
  
"What the. . ?!"  
  
"Hey!" Draco interrupted, "Aren't you going to blast Potter to smithereens?!"  
  
"Why?" Sirius looked even more confused- if that were possible.  
  
"Grr," Malfoy said. Then- "Acciow Voldemort!"  
  
Ron gasped.  
  
Something weird appeared at Sirius Black's feet. Curious, he picked it up- and immediately made a face. "Ugh! What the heck is that?!" It was about the size of a small child, and ugly. And lumpy. And warty. And disgusting.  
  
"You're not so hot yourself, Black," the thing spat in a chilling, high-pitched voice. Sirius almost dropped it on its hideous head.  
  
"It- it talked!"  
  
"Well, of course I talk," the thing snapped, "wow! Let's make out a Certificate of Intelligence to you, ugly!"  
  
"Ugly?!" Sirius snapped back, "You're calling me ugly? I may have spent twelve years in Azkaban, but at least I don't crack every mirror within a kilometre's radius!"  
  
"Uh! Now that was just uncalled for!" the thing screeched.  
  
"Wait a minute, " Harry gasped, "th-that's Voldemort!!!"  
  
"Tremble at the name!" Voldemort added.  
  
This time, Sirius did drop him.  
  
"OW!" Voldemort screeched, "That hurt, you feeble-brained, pathetic excuse for a wizard!" Despite his better -and worse- judgement, Sirius gave the Dark Lord a hard kick in the rear.  
  
Voldemort let out a vivid string of obscenities, then hollered, "Acciow Wormtail! Save me!"  
  
"How'd he know that spell?" Ron asked. Harry shrugged.  
  
Peter Pettigrew appeared at his master's side- and right in front of Sirius.  
  
"YOU!!" Sirius reached for his wand, remembered he didn't have it anymore, and settled for throwing himself at his former friend.  
  
"Save me!" Voldemort commanded.  
  
"EEEEEEEK!!!" Wormtail screamed, "Save me!!"  
  
"Save yourself!" Voldemort scolded. "Wimp! What kind of Death Eater are you, anyway? You wouldn't even let us give you the Dark Mark!"  
  
"Tattoos hurt," Wormtail explained pathetically, trying- equally pathetically- to stop Sirius from beating him into the ground.  
  
"Wormtail! Stop being such a baby and SAVE ME ALREADY!!!!!!!" Voldemort screeched.  
  
"Save yourself," Sirius mocked. "What kind of Dark Lord are you, anyway? I notice you don't have a Dark Mark!"  
  
"Duh! I invented it, so I don't need one! Besides, even if I did, you couldn't see it right now anyway, Ugly!"  
  
Around that time Hagrid turned from his dragon.  
  
"STOP CALLING ME UGLY!!!" Sirius hollered as he aimed a punch at the Dark Lord, but ended up tripping over Wormtail on accident.  
  
"Ow! Watch where you're going!" Wormtail protested.  
  
"Wha' the- AHHH!! SIRIUS BLACK!!!"  
  
"Hagrid- it's okay!"  
  
"No, it's not 'okay'!" Pettigrew screamed, "He's going to kill me!"  
  
"You got that right, rat!"  
  
"Wormtail! Come back here! Return! That's an order!" Voldemort screamed after his fleeing servant.  
  
"Sirius! Come back!" Harry shouted after his godfather, "If Filch sees you- "  
  
"He'll wonder why I'm chasing a guy who's supposed to be DEAD!!" Sirius yelled back as he rounded a corner, deeper into Hogwarts.  
  
"Arrgh!" Harry groaned.  
  
"Tell me about it!" Voldemort sighed, "No one ever listens to you when you're smaller than they are."  
  
Harry nodded, understanding completely; then remembered with whom it was he was agreeing with. "Acciow Fudge!"  
  
"No, wait!" Voldemort begged. But it was of no use- fudge came. It came pouring from the ceiling and onto Harry.  
  
"Yow!" he yelped, startled. Ron grabbed his friend before Harry slipped, then started licking the gooey chocolate off his fingers.  
  
"Mmmm. . . Well, Harry, look at it this way," he said, "if he had been named, oh, say, 'Minister Acid Pop' . . ."  
  
"Eh. Ron- why did you summon a Sumo Wrestler?"  
  
"What? Oh. Dad bought one of those tele-whatsits. Mugglevision. I stayed up late watching it- before Fred wanted to see what was inside- and there was this show called 'These Messages' that had a Sumo Wrestler on it."  
  
" 'These Messages'?" Harry repeated, holding in a laugh.  
  
"Harry! Ron! One a' you please explain wha's goin' on!" Hagrid said.  
  
"Er- Malfoy did it," was Ron's all-purpose excuse.  
  
"An' wha' was it tha' he did?"  
  
"Er- " said Ron.  
  
"Well- " said Harry.  
  
"Mmmphelp mehhmm!!" Snape's muffled voice said.  
  
______  
  
And so my story comes to a close, due mainly to the fact that I have to "go to sleep or else!" now. Malfoy finally stopped staring dumbfounded at the confusing, not to mention weird, things going on around him, and ran screaming back to his dormitory as soon as he spotted Norbert. Crabbe and Goyle followed him faithfully.  
  
Hagrid managed to remove Ron's sumo wrestler from Professor Snape, and helped the slightly squashed man back to his chambers. Fortunately for the two Gryffindors, Snape was at that time more likely to proclaim half-unconsciously, "Moo-vrba-an bu ba," ("Whatever that means," Ron said dryly) than to take points from their house. Or even notice that they were there at all.  
  
Norbert was brought back to Hagrid's hut, but soon returned to Romania, on a count of he didn't fit through the door.  
  
Peter "Wormtail" Pettigrew managed to dodge Sirius yet again, by actually remembering that while Sirius didn't have a wand, he did. In light of those circumstances, Mr. Black said some particularly colourful words, and then fled for his life.  
  
Voldemort strained about half the muscles in his body, until recalling that he could not Dissapperate without Wormtail. When the man returned, Voldemort strained the other half trying to Disapperate from Hogwarts grounds.  
  
Hermione, "Mad-Eye" Moody, and Mr. Malfoy eventually woke up, and, after trying to figure out where the heck they were, laughed at Malfoy making the exact same mistake as Voldemort. Lucius Malfoy limped back to Malfoy Manor, and Moody returned home. When Barty Crouch Jr. realized he was missing, Moody was again captured and returned to the chest.  
  
And as for Ron and Harry, they were both forbidden to use "Acciow" ever again. For a good reason!  
  
"Acciow all the candy in Honeydukes!"  
  
"Acciow 1.985.585.600 galleons!"  
  
"Acciow sumo wrestler!"  
  
A/N: Why didn't they use Acciow to bring Wormtail, Voldemort, and 'every other Deatheater!' to justice? Because, when you summon someone, they have everything they have on them at the time- like WANDS. I'm not sure anyone- or any number of anyones- would want to chance dueling with dark wizards. Especially with Voldemort. Which is one of the reasons why Acciow has become forbidden to everybody, so strict laws and tracking spells have been laid down, so that if someone uses Acciow, they immediately appear in Azkaban (and then immediately have their wand taken away). Just think what might happen if they didn't:  
  
"Acciow Harry Potter!" says a bad guy, wand at the ready.  
  
A/N#2: Thanks for reading! 


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